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Like the Arms itself the garden has Tardis-like properties and cannot
be fully mapped or explored. Let me take you, however, on a tour
of some of the known features. As you exit the Canley Arms by the
back door you will see a rose garden to your right. Please memorise
this location because should your libations prove too much for you this
is the traditional spot for… uh… shall we say recycling? This tradition
was begun in the early hours of the Reclaim the Forum party and continued
at the Christening party at Buck Palace. At the request of certain
patrons the rose garden was the second thing I planted.
Now, shall we continue? To the left is a paved path, edged by
lavender, leading towards one of the rustic seats. This particular seat
shelters under a cherry tree and is surrounded, in their seasons, by crocus,
daffodils and snowdrops. The lawn the path winds around is a mass
of crocus in early spring with freesias making the air fragrant a little
later. The path continues to wind around cottage garden type beds
of foxgloves, hollyhocks, wallflowers, granny’s bonnet, Johnny-jump-up
(guess who I planted that for?), violets, primroses and masses of bulbs.
There are trees of course – oaks, rowans, horse chestnuts, and sycamores
to name a few. More rustic seats are scattered beneath them.
A bird table stands near the center of the lawn and robins, chaffinches,
bluetits and jays can often be seen there. A squirrel's drey is visible
in a crook of the oak and in the evening a patron enjoying a very quiet
drink may see a hedgehog scuffling through leaves near the hedge or catch
a glimpse of black and white as a badger pads silently by. A word
of warning to the unwary – don't be fooled by the cuteness factor of the
squirrels. They may look sweet and adorable but in actual fact they
are rather like a cross between LGHSA and Smiffy – rough, tough and ready
to chew your finger off to get what they want. I have the scars to
prove it.
At the back of the garden proper is a thick holly hedge, which gleams
with blood-red berries in winter. In front of it is a vegetable bed
of thick crumbly chocolate coloured soil. Here are grown many of
the ingredients for such Canley Arms staples as Pumpkin and vodka soup
and Turnip martinis. You are now walking parallel to the back of
the Canley Arms. If you keep going straight ahead you will encounter
the summerhouse, charming draped in a rambling rose. Alternatively
you can turn left at the break in the hedge, which comes approximately
halfway across the garden, and enter the outer garden area. This
was an old neglected orchard until there was a demand for a pool.
The old orchard formed a rather spectacular bonfire for Guy Fawkes' Night
and the pool now occupies the right hand side of the old orchard while
the left is a new and flourishing orchard.
The pool is surrounded by its very own microclimate, which not only
allows swimming for much of the year but also enables more tropical plantings.
Thus the dressing shed – a charmingly Victorian confection – is covered
in by a jasmine and wisteria vines while Australian natives such as wattle,
boronia and banksias flourish around the pool. Behind the decking
where the temporary bar is (deckchairs, umbrellas, plenty of power points
for the fridge and the CD player) cool green ferns grow beneath a fig with
hardenbergia and pandora vines twining, cream and purple, along the ground.
The orchard consists of virtually all new plants but with true Canley
Arms flair they are cropping already. It contains everything from
cherries to mangoes, as the tropical fruits are simply planted on the poolside
of the orchard. Along the holly hedge is another strip of vegetable
garden. In spring and summer daffodils, primroses and poppies are
scattered across the grass underneath the trees. Hammocks are available
for those who fancy a quiet snooze far from the hubbub of the jukebox,
video and bar.
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