Avon

Welcome one and all to a right-royal Garden Party to celebrate our *New*-ish Forum! 

Location: the picturesque grounds of Buckingham Palace courtesy of Her Maj Liz II Guest of Honour: Her Maj Queen Mum who is about to turn 100 and can still do the Macarena with ease (or a few drinks). Pests of Honour: sozzled corgis (watch out, they bite)Garbage Collectors: Sleazy Phil, The Boy, and The Young Lad.

Hospitality Marquee is situated in the middle of the lawn for your convenience. Open bar policy. Help yourselves and, if you get a chance, pass the drinks around. Tables, chairs and market umbrellas have been set up outside for your comfort. The caterers are available to whip up any indulgence you care to imagine or you're welcome to pop into the outdoor kitchen and tango with the tongs yourself.

For those with the urge to dance, the disco floor has been set up near the rose gardens (the less said about this foresight for the inevitable the better wouldn't you agree?). We've allowed for a wide variety in musical tastes when getting the CD collection together, however, Oasis and Steps have NOT been included for obvious reasons. Smuggle them in and you'll be unceremoniously dunked in the lake where we hope a tadpole will get lodged painfully up your nose.

And, naturally, all TB episodes are available for your viewing pleasure. The big screen telly is finally working properly and we've got beanbags to suit all shapes, sizes and friction limits.

We hope everyone will use their fabulous imaginations and have a groovy time with us on Forum. Don't forget, be it big or small, your calling card will say it all - Post it Baby! 

Cheers m'dears! 
Avon and Anna 

Party on in any Forum!! 
Caution - Forum Testing in Progress!

Avon - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 08:37 am:

*Tiptoes in carrying assortment of junk* 
*Looks around* 
Noone here? Good. I just want to pop up alittle more bunting 'cause you can't have too much bunting at a "do"
like this, can you? I've got some chinese lanterns to hang in the trees too. They'll look pretty when it gets dark
later on. 

*Directs passing footmen up ladders* 
I might just pop into the kitchen and make sure that the air-freighted Tim Tams have arrived safely... 
*Leaves kitchen with suspicious chocolate crumbs on face* 
*Goes to check bar to see there is copous quantities of CIJAH lime Fizz.* 

Guess I'll pop off now and get into me glad rags... see you soon (I hope). 
Avon 
LGHSA RULES!!!!! Count yourself lucky, Anna, that I didn't avail myself of your kind permission to add ANY signoff to the above message. I was very tempted but then I remembered your aim with a supa soaker ;0) 

Anna -  Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 08:54 am:

Yes, well lucky for you Avon you decided not to take liberties or there would've been *syrup at sundown*! 

P O P ! ahhhh I love the sound of a good champagne cork popping. Plenty more where this came from. Hope
someone arrives soon to help out with this bottle or I'm going to be a very, very sloshed anna. 

Ooohhhh here comes the first of the canapes (that's horsey dervs for those who don't speak French). I also luv
those little tasty Tassie scallop things Chef ordered in specially. *munch, munch, munch* Really very good. Come
and try before they all disappear. 

See you all here soon. 

anna :D 
Party on in any Forum! 
Nuts to Bolts!!! 
*see! two different sides of Forum can come together in harmony - providing there's enough alcohol to go
around* ;) 

Emony - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 08:55 am:

Here I am, nice and early as usual! 

I brought some lemon jelly with peeled grapes inside - just in case you run out of food, and a huge box of gooey
caramel tim tams for those who have yet to try them. 

Oooh and I bags the purple velvet beanbag with the googly eyes and big red tongue. Now, where's the bartender
when you need him? 

Emony 

Go Boldly! 
as if there's any other way... 

Avon - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 10:28 am:

I'm a bit worried about that beanbag, Emony - are you sure it isn't a minor royal? 'Scuse me - got to go and grab
some of those little nibbly things (horse's doovers not LGHSA). I LOVE flash finger food. 
*Scoffing noises (polite, of course)* 
Now if anyone *thinks* they see Prince Andrew wandering past, grab him and check for handcuffs and a copy of
PACE - it might be Jolly John Maitland in disguise. (Sam Miller played him in a telemovie.) 
Oh, and if anyone sees Liz please thank her for the suggestion of a party for the new Forum. 
Avon 
LGHSA RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXwatch this space for a Burnside sign off 

Liz -  Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 10:57 am:

I'm here Avon!! 

I've got *the* hat out. Does it suit me? 

I've also brought copious *hic* amounts of Sherry Trifle. Once tasted *never* forgotten. *hic*. 

Ooooooooh, that's a nice big telly there. The delectable one would look even lufflier on that!!
OOOOooOOOOOOH!!! 

Liz xx 
*collapsed into a bean bag already* 
*hic* 

Emony - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 11:04 am:

A minor royal? Would that be a person or a corgi...besides, I'm too lazy to move, and I'm still waiting for the
bartender - why can you never get good help these days? 

Oooh and I'll take the LGHSA to nibble upon, he's surely got to be tastier than the doovers! 

Avon - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 11:07 am:

Sherry Trifle!! I adore trifle! *Narrowly restrains urge to dive nose first into trifle* (I am wearing me best, after
all.) Oh and the hat is adorable daaaaahlin'. Want a G&T? Or a champers and OJ? 

*Sneaks to video while Liz is distracted and pops in "On the Block". Sinks into deck chair with sigh of contentment
and vase sized glass of ch/oj in one hand and a trifle of triffle in the other.* 
Avon 

Avon - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 11:11 am:

Problem is, Emony, he wiggles. Nibble carefully or you might lose a front tooth! 

Ooooh, look at the video. Call me a sadist but I love watching poor John get done over by a brace of inspectors in
this one. 
Avon 

Emony -  Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 11:21 am:

Okay, you're a sadist, and I do prefer wiggly things as it makes the game so much more interesting ;o) 

Avon -  Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 11:47 am:

*grins* Hmmmm.... Should we tell the Queen to count her corgis carefully? 
Avon 

Giggles - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 11:49 am:

I'm glad everyone is enjoying themselves, is it alright if I bring the cat with me. Or will the calf biters (corgis) get
her. 

The cat and I also like to munch on things that wiggle just call it intinct. 

Giggles (hahaha) /ch{:)} 

Laura - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 12:09 pm:

Ooooh Look a party!!! Im going to wear my best outfit and my cowboy hat - I really, really love my hat!! 

Where do I put my "steps" albumn again? J 

Oooh If giggles is taking her pets can I bring mine?...Theres Kevin the siamese, Simon the LGHSA and pixie the
mog,then there is my gorgeous doggy-wog Tessy Bear. 

Is William here yet? 

And while we are here at a welcoming party it seems appropriate that I welcome all of the newbies. 

WELCOME ALL!!!! 

The forum is finally getting back on track and that alone deserves a party. Thanks to all of you guys who held it
together in *that* time of crisis!! 

Vodka and orange anyone? 

Oh and I am going to dedicate my Mars bar/Vodka creation to the always umm lovely Eddie Santini!! 
Any name suggestions for it? 

Laura xox 

Long Live Eddie 
Hurray for The FORUM!!!!!! 

Avon -  Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 12:13 pm:

Hi Kerry! Welcome to your first Forum party! I should think the cat would be okay - they're very well fed corgis.
Have a drink or some trifle or a bean bag. On the Block has finished if someone wants to put another vid in. 

BTW - Debz - I hope you've given your sleeping baga bit of a brush and polish. This is Buck Palace, after all. 
Avon 

Laura - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 12:14 pm:

Oh I know.... 
If I put whipped cream on top of it (the cocktail)then it will look like a cappucino! 
I can call it a smooth Italian! 
"Bartender!...One \Smooth Italian please! 

Laura xox 
Long Live Eddie 

Laura - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 12:15 pm:

Oh I know.... 
If I put whipped cream on top of it (the cocktail)then it will look like a cappucino! 
I can call it a smooth Italian! 
"Bartender!...One Smooth Italian please!" 

Laura xox 
Long Live Eddie 

Laura - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 12:17 pm:

Ooops Im -s-s-stammering again!!! 
Laura xox 

Avon - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 12:20 pm:

Asking me to name an Eddie cocktail is asking for trouble. *grins* Santini Scum? *Ducks well hurled
Horses-doover* No Steps allowed, I'm afraid - Anna programmed the sound system to reject Steps and Oasis. Of
course she *didn't ban Blood Hound Gang. *Grins wickedly and goes off to wake the ghosts of the palace* 
Avon 
*Grabbing food as she goes. I haven't managed to do anything as intelligent as eat today. Oh and that topic if I
EVER do anything even a quarter as stupid as throwing a cyber party and starting a fan club on one day will some
one shoot me? Please? 

Emony - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 12:27 pm:

Shame that Steps isn't allowed but can I still practice my line dancing? It *is* good for loosening the hips you
know. 

Oh and I'd love to suck on a Smooth Italian - but I don't know how to do the colours! 

Emony 
I'll shoot you Avon dear, as long as I can get arrested by a certain PC *g* 

Laura - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 12:29 pm:

Wheres my super soaker xp7? 
s-q-u-i-r-t: Thats cos you asked me too... 

sssss--qqqq--i-rrrrr--------t: That was for Eddie!! 

laura xoxox 

Long Live Eddie!!! 

Mozzie - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 12:38 pm:

Sorry I'm a bit late for the party but my bloomin' provider was engaged for an hour...so I'm a bit angry. I need a
drink..quick someone hand me one...make it a double scotch (Frank's drink I think). 

Moz 

Anna - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 01:08 pm:

*Sheeesh* Hopped into a rowboat to check it for leaks and while I wasn't looking *someone* gave me a shove
out into the middle. Woulda been okay if there'd been OARS!!! Luckily I was rescued by a luffly member of the
Royal Household Regiment. Mmmmmm. Ever so grateful am I. 

One good thing did come of my little adventure...managed to collect a jar full of tadpoles to shove up the nose of
anyone seen near the CD player with Steps. Five, six, seven, eight...at a time, right up there baby! 

Here y'are Moz *hands over double scotch*. Enjoy. Another's coming your way. 

Extra cheers to Liz for suggesting a Forum party. Here's to you! 

Hmmmm...and now I'm ready for a Kir Royale - champage and creme de cassis. 

anna :) 
Party on at the Palace! 

Giggles - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 01:15 pm:

Anyone want's a tim tam? could you also pass me another drink please. 

hello to all the pets, and could someone puts some real music on, you know real rock and roll. 

Also my sleeping bag is as clean as a whistle, and if the queen doesn't like it then I'll just have do without one. 

Will someone please stop that corgi from sniffing my leg, it probably can smell all my wonderful show dogs. 

My cat is starting to enjoy herself with all these wonderful pets that are here tonight. I think i've had too much to
drink now, and i think I'm going to fall asleep now ZZZZZZZZZZZZ. 

Giggles (hahaha) 

Giggles - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 01:18 pm:

Anyone want's a tim tam? could you also pass me another drink please. 

hello to all the pets, and could someone puts some real music on, you know real rock and roll. 

Also my sleeping bag is as clean as a whistle, and if the queen doesn't like it then I'll just have do without one. 

Will someone please stop that corgi from sniffing my leg, it probably can smell all my wonderful show dogs. 

My cat is starting to enjoy herself with all these wonderful pets that are here tonight. I think i've had too much to
drink now, and i think I'm going to fall asleep now ZZZZZZZZZZZZ. 

Giggles (hahaha) 

Cadetdebz - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 07:00 pm:

Oi I wouldn't polish my sleeping bad, I'd be slidding across the floor even more, hmm on seconds thought....... 

Debz 
*polish* 
WHEEEEEEEEEeeeeeeeeeeee! 

Kay - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 08:15 pm:

A party? for me? oh how lovely :o) 
sorry? 
pardon? 
oh the *other* queen mum? 
oh OK 
*wipes tear from eye* 

Kay ;o) 
KERRYS HEROES:Queen Mum 

Gill - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 09:00 pm:

You're not 100 as well, are you, Kay? :-) 
Don't we have to wear hats in the presence of Royalty? I bags Dave's helmet. 

Kay - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 09:51 pm:

does it count if I *feel* 100? :o( 

Lucyjws - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 10:19 pm:

Well it's a bit posher than the Canley Arms isn't it? Now can somebody please get this corgi off my leg! (obviously
I should have brought my super-soaka) 

DCS - Thursday, July 27, 2000 - 11:07 pm:

Oh, oh!! 

Am I too late for the champers or is all thats left is flat cherryade and stale ham sandwiches, the kind that are
curling at the edges and stick to the roof of your mouth?? 

*waves* Hey everyone!! 

Jamie 

DCS - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 12:30 am:

More than a couple of turnip martinis later..... 

Can I put Whitney on now? Coz I just wanna dance (with somebody who loves me) 

*looks around* 

Lgal - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 01:14 am:

Here I am, better late than never! I've brought some vodka jelly shots, in all shorts (I've already had a few) of
colours... I had to wait a while for the jelly to set. 

Anyone for a blue or orange one?! Not sure what flavour the blue one is - do we care? 

Lesley 

Avon - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 02:17 am:

Well, I'm back after falling asleep in a bean bag 'cause someone put a Reg episdoe on and you know how your
eyes just start to c..l...o...s...e..... 
But I'm awake now! Got any jelly shots Lesley? That'll keep my awake for ages....naaaow, on second thoughts
you don't *want* to see me on red food colouring. Oi! Jamie! I'd *thwack* you if we weren't in the presence of
royalty - when Anna and organise a party you never run out of food and drink. Now speaking of Royalty - hiya
Kay! When you say you feel 100 - 100 what? (just out of idle curiosity *grins*) Lucy, just wave a G&T at the
corgi and it will abandon your leg for better things. Mozzie, would you mind having another double scotch in
honour of Frank for me? I might love our Francis but not enough to drink scotch *shudder*. I hope you're wearing
blue, Gill, if you want to wear Dave's helmet - can't clash at the Palace, can we? 

Anna, I do hope you had a lovely voyage - do I know anything about it? Moi? I was asleep! On my life, Guv! 

Avon 
Party on at the Palace!!! 
LGHSA RULES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

Mur - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 02:30 am:

Hey Kay I need a drinkie poo or two, its been a long day, could you whip up one of your wonderful little
concoctions for me, oh please make it a double thanks lovie, heres cheers to you. 'hic hic' Mur 

Avon - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 02:38 am:

Hi Mur! It's lovely to meet you. If you're hungry can I recomend Liz's trifle ? It is rather wonderful. CIJAH LIME
FIZZ is spectacular as well. (Anna whipped it up in tribute to the wonderful CIJAH people who hosted our last
party.) 
Avon 

Cait - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 02:41 am:

^pops head around marquee post nervously^ 

erm... *hello*... Am not good in big groups but am so pleased Forum is having a party. What a lovely idea Avon -
thank you so much. If you don't mind I'll be the one hovering in the background near those rather hunky footmen.
If I do vanish briefly I promise I'll be back.... 

Mind you - it won't take me long to join in. I've already seen people I know and love and everyone else looks so
friendly. 

But just to calm the nerves at first... may I possibly please have a small bottle of Diet Coke? 

Caitlin (battling party nerves but intent on celebrating Forum In July!!) 

Lgal - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 02:47 am:

Welcome Cait - here's your Diet Coke and a bowl of Cheezels (v. stylish party food - IMHO). 

What about a change of music. Because we're at the Palace, I reckon some of the stirring music such as
seen/heard at the Last Night of the Proms - a bit of Pomp and Circumstance, maybe. (Or am I showing my age
now?!) 

I love a good knees-up(!?!). Where's the conductor from Last Night of the Proms - he'll get everyone going... 

Lesley 

Sal - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 03:15 am:

Liz...you instigated this? *THWACK* 
 

Still, as long as HB and I get a small corner in which to set up our rotisserie... 
 

Sal 
CDG 
BBBB Roofless 

Flyingnun - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 05:42 am:

I am so sorry that I am late but I am not very good at directions and I had to ask that very nice policeman from
Sun Hill PC Tony Stamp how to get here. I have brought the Double choc coated Tim Tams. My dog Mickey sends
his love to the royal bow-wows. Happy 100 TO QUEEN LIZ 1........... 

Liz - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 05:57 am:

Well Sal, you should have known that such a stylish occasion would have been *my* idea. 

The rotisserie is over there;- down wind of everyone. What do roasted corgi's smell like? 

Oh and there is a special gathering of BBBB in the Blue Room! 

Liz xx 
*hic, anyone for trifle?* 

Avon - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 07:46 am:

As I was just saying when ozemail so rudely crashed on me -please don't spit roast the corgis. No matter how
special a relationship Anna may have with the Royals I don't think we'd get out of that one and if I'm going to be
hung for treason it is going to be for something a sight more speccy than singed doggie, I can tell you!! 
Cait! Hi! Of course we're friendly - totally insane but friendly. You can always hide in the beanbags and watch a
video. We do have the full range available and I don't think anything has been selected lately. Oh and if you pop
in on Saturday we can sing Happy Birthday! 
Lesley I don't actually know P&C but anything's better than *whispers so as not to give them ideas* ABBA so quick
- pop it on. It might lift the tone of the place and between Kay feeling 100 and Emony and Laura sucking on
smooth Italians that is sorely needed. 
Janelle - welcome to your first Forum party. *Waves* Food, vids, booze, corgis, beanbags, great company -
we've got it all. Thanks, BTW, to all the wonderful people who have turned up to help christen the new Forum. 
Now I'm just going to try a pink gin 
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!ANNA!!!!!!!!!!!!! I CAN DO PINK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
*Sighs very contentedly and starts planning to take over the world.* 
Avon 

LGHSA RULES!!!!!! 
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Liz - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 08:11 am:

So are you Pinky or are you the Brain! 

Sorry too much sherry in the trifle!! Is that Prince Andrew shinning up that flagpole? 

Liz xx 

Avon - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 08:34 am:

No! It's Jolly John!!!! Someone throw a corgi at him and see if we can capture him alive! 
Avon 

Phar Lap - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 09:30 am:

cor...you miss one day on the net and a party starts without ya! wont let that happen again. 
Anna...what do you think of the dress *phar twirls* 
Hiya Avon...hiya everyone else *phar waves* 
any stollies at the bar? 
down, down boy...*phar dodges nasty wee corgi* 
Alright...who gave the doggies a drink????? 

off to mingle now...and get a drink so my words will get more colourful............ 

LGHSA RULES.. 
leave my russ alone..... 
party party party......... 

Lucyjws - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 09:34 am:

Oh dear, I think that trifle had a bit too much sherry in it. *Don't suppose anyone will notice that I was sick in the
rosebushes* Liz please don't make it quite so strong next time. 

Anyway think I'll have another drink, hair of the corgi and all that. 

Why is there a man up a flagpole taking his clothes off? Oh well, his balance is good. 

Anna - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 12:45 pm:

Well I can say all my dreams have come true now. Listen up everyone! Lucy was sick in the rosebushes! Ner,
ner ner. It wasn't me. Yeeeha Grandma! 

Speaking of whom...has anyone seen Her Maj Queen Mumsie yet? I'm sure she'll be along soon. No, I mean the
one with the ostrich, not dear Kay. 

Phar! Gorgeous mate. Uhh...there's a tag sticking out from yer armpit. Never fear, I've got scissors somewhere in
this bag. *snip, snip* 

Avon, now we just have to work on getting rid of that unfortunate Balmoral tartan thing you've got happening.
Yikes! 

anna :) 

Laura - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 01:42 pm:

Avon: There aint nothing wrong with sucking on a Smooth Italian. Come on give those silly little ginger things a
miss and give one a bit of a go!!! 

Meanwhile, I'm going for a skinny dip in the lake...who's up for it? 

Laura xox 

LONG LIVE EDDIE!! 

DCS - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 06:24 pm:

I'm back, having had to distangle myself from a Worrell look alike, after having been told we're supposed to mingle
not fuse. Oh well c'est la vie. I wonder if that other forum uncle is gonna turn up? Doesn't he want to hang out
with somebody who's breathed the same air as Joy Brooks (which, believe you me, living in South East London, is
none to pleasent). 
Has anyone turned up to dance with me yet? I'll have you know I have Latin blood, there's dance in my soul. 
Might give the skinny dipping a miss Laura, I wouldn't want to be mistaken for a corgi and end up on the spit! 

Avon, Anna, this was such a wunnerful idea! 

Happy Daze 
Jamie 
;o)= 

Lucyjws - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 09:11 pm:

I'll dance with you Jamie. I need to live up to my old uni nickname. Right, so where's the podium? Better not spin
round too much or I might be sick again. 

Oh well, few more drinks and I'll probably snog someone unsuitble. 

DCS - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 09:20 pm:

So come on don't be shy Lucy, what was your old uni nickname? 

Lucyjws - Friday, July 28, 2000 - 10:34 pm:

I had two disco diva and podium queen although maybe I should have kept that to myself. 

Fancy another drink? 

Bye the way is it a legal requirement that Dancing Queen and the Grease Megamix get played at every party? Or
is that just the parties I go to (honest I don't request them - well maybe the ABBA) 

Avon - Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 01:33 am:

You leave my tartan alone, Anna! That's my little tribute to our Dunky and my beloved Ali... I'd do the MacGreggor
tartan, which is Alistair's clan tartan but it's too tricky(No way I'm doing Duncan's - it's ghastly). 
PHAR!!! Long time no see! I'm sure we've got lots of stollies - after all you've only justarrived. *grin* Your dress is
just utterly too-too, my deah, especially now Anna's taken the price tag off ;0) 
*Small round of applause* - Luce's just christened the rosebushes, and the best bit is it's not my garden! Actually a
bit of Grease would be quite good - should get quite a few people up dancing which will provide amusement for
the rest of us. 
Oh and if everyone could just gather around for a moment or two and join me in a few bars of Happy Birthday for
Cait? 
Happy birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear C..a..i..t.. happy birthday to you 

Avon 

Bubbles - Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 11:04 am:

Happy Birthday cait! 

Ooh a party... 

What kind of booze and food have you got then? 

"Go Grease lightning something I can't remember la la la" *arm movement* "la la la....." 

Woohooooo! PARTEEEE! 

Go Boldly! 

bubs 
x 

Cadetdebz - Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 11:44 am:

*waves* I'm still here I getting a bit lonely on my tod with the trifle *hic* 

Debz 

Laura - Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 01:36 pm:

TRIFLE????? 
Where? 

God that water was freezing - I'm up for a dance now to get a bit warmer!!! 

Any takers - If you dance with me I swear I will make you look good. If Luce is the podium queen, then I am...
well the opposite of that! 
I usually end up swinging my arms around so much that someone loses an eye (or I lose a top) Dosn't bother me
though! 

WHO has got my cowboy hat? - If it has fallen into the clutches of a corgi I will be really upset! 

I'll have another smooth Italian to slurp on please!!!! 

Laura xox 
Long Live Eddie!!! 

Bubbles - Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 06:50 pm:

Could I have a smooth londoner to slurp upon? 

I do lurve these dwinkies! 

So what's the dress code? Considering it's Maj's garden'n'all... 

Go Boldly! 

Bubs 
x 

Lucyjws - Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 08:28 pm:

Shouldn't worry too much about dress codes Bubs, Laura is about to go topless! 

So why aren't more people dancing and where are all the men? I can't find someone unsuitable to snog if there
aren't any men around. 

Bubbles - Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 09:07 pm:

Topless?!? 

*gets out the towels* Cover yerself up girl! 

Prince William's looking.....oh...h-ellloooooo!!! 

*wanders off to rampage wardrobe* 

Go Boldly! 

Bubs 
x 

Gill - Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 11:25 pm:

Just popped in to get very drunk in the hope I might sleep tonight. 
Dave can have his hat back, as long as he wears it, and nothing else!!!! 
Are we safe letting Avon near the trifle, or will it go the same way as the pavlova? 
It's my wedding anniversary on the Queen mum's b/day. Can I have a piece of her cake? 
Bags I not dance with prince William, he looks too much like my brother for my liking. And my brother can't dance. 
Woooooh, got all night in here on my own. Gis a sherry.... 

DCS - Saturday, July 29, 2000 - 11:51 pm:

Am I the *only* man here? Blimey, tis I shame I'm such a gentleman otherwise I might have a fair old time. But
hey if you keep the turnip martinis flowing then maybe I can be pursuaded to hand out the tongue sandwiches ;o)
 

DCS 
*Drunken Cheeky Smile* 

Anna - Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 12:21 am:

*prepares to ask the difficult questions by having a good slurp of a turnip martini herself and passes Jamie a jug of
the scaringly potent stuff* 

Jams, can you get out the *big uns* and prove your *only man* status? 

I'm sure Her Maj would be intrigued to see. She probably hasn't seen an *un* that impressive in all her 100 years. 

anna 0:) 

DCS - Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 12:27 am:

*considers using the adjective majestic but displays considerable restraint* 

Well are there any other men out there? Or is someone upstairs finaly treating me for all my years of good
behaviour? 

DIWORRELLS_TURNIP_MARTINI 
[hic] 

Avon - Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 02:55 am:

Well Jamie, ther are lots of corgis - I'm sure some of them are men and someone did mention something about a
naked man up a flagpole. Either way I'm not conviced you'd qualify as unsuitable so Luce might be disappointed. 

Avon 

Bubbles - Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 09:59 am:

Don't think j would be too impressed either jamie.... 
*ducks* 

You say your bro looks like Prince William gill? How old is he? Married? Single? 0:o) 

How about some table dancing Luce? or up on the ballastrades? 

cha cha cha 

Go Boldly! 

Bubs 
x 

Mazz - Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 10:22 am:

I've finally made it! Hiya all! 
The Taxi's around this place are shocking! PLUS I had to wiz passed the bottle shop (Bottle-o!) for more supplies
to stock the *Hospitality Marquee*! (you guys drink like fish!!J Taxi driver was not a happy chappy about the pit
stop - until I sliped him a bottle of bourbon (don't worry it wsa the cheap and nasty stuff) 
Just rock up to the *Hospitality Marquee* - You want it, I got it in every colour, favour and mix! The bar is
officially stocked to the hilt! 

I'll be setting up my stand/tent in the corner of the garden - offering first aid to those unfortunates that had
ankles which the corgis found irresitable (limited stock of crutches so if your going to be corgi attacked, get it
done nice and quick and you'll have pick of the available crutches!) 
I also have attractive and very fashionable spikey anklets on sale for a resonable price. They are actually
'corgi-deterrents' but could be used to deter most small and pesky dogs (no offence intended towards dogs of this
nature). The "spike-a-dog" anklet (these marketing people got that name spot on!!) come in a range of colours
and spike lengths. 
*you realise you guys will be the guinea pigs for this remarkable product and no responsibilty will be taken by me if
you unwittingly decide to cross your legs when standing and manage to perforate your ankles.)* 

Warning - do not unwittingly decide to cross your legs while standing and wearing with spike anklets -
enormous pain and a trip to the first aid tent will be the consequences. 

For those thinking they might be a member of the 'I cross my legs while standing' society (ICMLWS) we have on
sale special minature corks that can be placed on the spike ends thus preventing the possibility of becoming a
human blood-spouting fountain at the ankles. Your membership card to this society will have to be shown on the
purchase of these corks. 
The corks will also be on sale, for an incredably inflated price, to those lushes (drunkards!) that purchase the
'spike-a-dog' anklets but feel they cannot maintain their conposure after a few drinky-poos and feel they cannot
prevent self inflicted injury (this may occur while the lush stumbles to the bar area or tries to make a quick dash
to the rose bushes to decorate them with bits of carrot and the like (why does carrot magically appear in the
upheaval and expelation (?) of the disagreeable stomach's inards??) 

You are recommended not to partake in contact sports involving high kicking, or any kicking for that matter, while
wearing the 'spike-a-dog' anklets. This includes sports such as Kick boxing , karate, and drunken can-can dancing
in the presence of a closely packed crowd. Again no responsibility will be taken for injuries sustained in the
methods stated above, though the first aid tent will be more that happy to hand you a brandy to numb the pain
and a ice pak and some bandages to stop the bleeding. (Don't forget the limited number of crutches on the
premises - get in quick!) 
I look forward to seeing you all at one time or another at the first aid/ 'spike-a-dog' stand in the corner of Liz the
II's *wunderful 'n' plendid* garden (I must remember to have a chat to her about the gardenias - they're so
glorious! - I bet she uses a bit of horse manure.....) 

Mazz 

No animals will be harmed by the use of the 'spike-a-dog' anklets (unless they are stupid enough to try and attack
an ankle bearing the product.) 

*BTW - I am the hugest animal lover and mean no disrespect to any animal of any kind. Please consider my post
purely written in jest.(And if your an animal of the small furry, feathery, slimy, or scaly etc. kind, and reading this
post...by Joe you are a smart little beastie!)* 

Gill - Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 02:38 pm:

His name's Martin, Bubbles, but he's married. He got married last year to a Greek woman. Though none of us could
understand the service, so it could have been about anything. Can't remember his age. 33 sounds about right. 

Lucyjws - Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 05:13 pm:

I'm always up for a bit of table dancing bubs. 

Do the footmen count as unsuitable (think I might go find out!) 

Avon - Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 11:11 pm:

Oh and, Gill? Don't worry - there's no way I'd waste good trifle by throwing it ;0) 
Mazz, I think a first aid tent is s a top idea. Can you extract tadpoles from people's nostrils if Anna gets violent?
Fix broken legs when the table dancers fall off? Treat Jamie for sunburn/frostbite in crucial places if necessary? AS
for the corgi repellers - LOL! 
Avon 

DCS - Sunday, July 30, 2000 - 11:38 pm:

Avon, Anna! 

Thanks for an excellent party! 
Who knows, maybe it'll still be rocking upon my return. 

*takes one last swig and wonders if he can find that Worrell look-alikey and make his goodbyes *ahem* felt* 

J(me) 

Liz - Monday, July 31, 2000 - 04:48 am:

You realise Jamie, that you are not allowed to leave until you have done your 'party piece' in the tradition of all
good British knees-ups!! 

How about.....draping yourself in the Union Jack, shining up the nearest flagpole, whilst drinking a pint of best and
singing "Land of Hope and Glory"? 

NO? Oh well, sounded alright after copious amounts of sherry trifle *hic* 
 

Liz xx 

Avon - Monday, July 31, 2000 - 07:23 am:

I'd pay to see that!!! Of course if we're doing party pieces I could delve back in my past and polish up my seven
year old party piece - a detailed recital of precisely how they eat snails in France. I think I set back the cause of
multiculturalism considerably as well as demonstrating that a well-read child is not always an asset. 
Oh, look - Rodders did follow us up - he always was a snob, sulk or no sulk. *Waves imperiously at Rodders (I'm
practising being royalty)* 
Fetch some food, deah boy... yes I'd try the kitchen, you berk. 
Speaking of snobs I keep looking for Dashers. A little do at the palace would be just his style IMO. 
Now, as the Grease Megamix has finally finished d'you think the Queen might lend us some pipers? Just as a small
tribute to Ali and Dunky? 
Avon 
LGHSA RULES!!!!!!! 
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Lucyjws - Monday, July 31, 2000 - 07:47 am:

Avon I would just like to say that experienced table dancers never fall off. Well not unless someone's greased the
pole or we've had too much to drink. 

As for doing party pieces, isn't my dancing enough? Few more drinks and I might think of other ways to entertain
the crowd. (Does it have to be legal?)